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Essay / Research Paper Abstract
A 3 page paper rewording a memo from an American manager to Hong Kong employees of the same company. The memo needing translation from “English to English” is, “I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. It’s high time we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. I’m pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best to sell you on America.” The paper provides better word choice and rationale for selection. Bibliography lists 2 sources.
Page Count:
3 pages (~225 words per page)
File: CC6_KSbusComEmail.rtf
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Unformatted sample text from the term paper:
that the departmental manager "wants to send a brief e-mail message welcoming employees recently transferred to your department from your Hong Kong branch. They all speak English, but your boss
asks you to review his message for clarity." The short message reads, I wanted to welcome you ASAP to our little family here in the States. Its high time
we shook hands in person and not just across the sea. Im pleased as punch about getting to know you all, and I for one will do my level best
to sell you on America. The purpose here is to revise the email so that it serves the purpose the manager intends and
is meaningful to those receiving it. Analysis and Editing As written, the email is full of idiomatic language that Chinese workers may nor
may not understand. Even though all of those being transferred to the US office speak English, it is formal British English that they speak, and certainly not American slang.
As it stands, the email is not audience-centered at all, for the audience has little chance of understanding a word it says. Better wording would be: I am
pleased to welcome you to your new assignments, and I welcome the opportunity to become acquainted with each of you in person. I am eager to introduce you to
America. Rationale Further examination of the proposed "translation" may prove not to be the most effective it could be, depending on the perspective
that the Hong Kong employees hold regarding America. If they are pleased to have been transferred and are looking forward to taking on their assignments, then likely there is
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